7 Things You Should Know About Screen Time

7 Things You Should Know About Screen Time

Written by Bea Garcia-Choy

We live in a world wherein screen time is inescapable, unless of course you are a hermit living in a cave. In our day to day lives, the use of screens has jumped from being helpful, destructive, necessary to excessive. It is not a surprise that most parents struggle with the million dollar question: How much screen time is too much for my child? 

Unfortunately, there is no cookie cutter approach to screen time. Personally, I believe that screen time is unique and it depends on you, as the parent. It depends on what is good for your family. 

Here are 7 things we all must remember about screen time and 7 things I believe would be helpful as we navigate through this complex element especially when it comes to our children: 

“Screen time is like a jar with a hole in the bottom. The jar never fills up, that’s why we keep asking for more.”

I am quoting this analogy from Dr. Becky Kennedy’s Good Inside podcast on the use of screens and children. I love this metaphor because it not only talks about screen time in the eyes of children, but also us adults. Even we feel that there is never enough screen time. I for one have gone through endless battles of checking my phone versus going to bed. Now imagine if an adult with complete faculties of self regulation and self control struggles with this, what more our young children? 

This is something that needs to be accepted and recognised when screen time is brought into our families. And a good way to help our kids through this is to always prepare them for “screen time cut offs”. When it’s time to put screens to rest, we can support their emotions by reminding them, “I know it feels like what you watched was not enough and you want more, but screens have a tendency of doing that. So I’m going to turn off this iPad after this video even if you want more and we can both talk about wanting more and focusing that energy on (for example) the blocks you’re building with your sister.”

It is helpful to be specific with your use of screen time. 

Allowing your child to mentally and emotionally prepare themselves for screen time gives them room to be ready for when it stops. When we tell our children the number of videos we will be watching at a given moment, or the number of minutes they are allowed to play the game, it makes them more compliant to this limited use of screen time. And it eases the disappointment of taking it away from them and turning the devices off. 

It’s been proven that more screen time leads to more disregulated behaviour. 

The nature of using devices paints a dangerous world for our children. In this world, enjoyment comes from no energy expenditure and very low effort tolerance. Satisfaction comes so easily when using screens. And so when your child is off screen, he/she has a tendency to want this kind of life and it more often than not, lowers their frustration tolerance. 

Tip: When this happens, you can use words like “Come on! It’s time to get our body ready for something that feels a little more difficult than just sitting with our screens!” This encourages them to get out of the screen mindset and use their brains and bodies to put more effort on tasks and activities. 

We cannot escape screen time. 

If yours was a family that regulated screen time strictly, chances are, on the onset of the pandemic, all your screen time restrictions and rules were thrown out the window. Because of the nature of how learning had to evolve in schools (online) and because children were mostly not allowed to leave their homes, screens have actually been our child’s best friend. 

I think it is important to accept that it was a necessary phase in our children’s learning and that just because they are on a device does not mean they are not learning. Which leads me to my next point…

Not all screen time is detrimental to a child’s development. 

There are many ways to make use of screens in a good and beneficial way. The screen can be your teammate in helping your child learn and develop. Currently, there’s a plethora of choices for you and your child in the form of platforms with lessons, games and educational videos that can add value to your child’s daily life. 

Even in the classroom, screen time is a tool I use as a teacher, and it enriches our lessons and learning environment. 

Screen time can also come in handy when you are very busy and need to occupy your child. Just make sure to monitor what he/she is watching, and try to be aware of the time spent in front of the screen. 

You, as a parent, know best. 

You do not have to follow strict and unbendable rules for screen time. This can vary by the day, depending on how you see your child react to it. Remember that you are the parent and you control what is fed to your child. If you can sense that your child is having difficulty facing challenges, and is expecting instant rewards (the way screen time tends to promote), then tighten the leash. Even if your child compares you to parents of other children who allow more screen time, always remember that you are holding off screen time because you know it is good for your child. 

There is no hard and fast rule about screen time. You make up your own rules and regulations based on what is good for your child and your family. 

Many times we see children in restaurants on their screen. Some people may judge this but it’s important to remember that each family has their own needs. Say for example, this child has a tendency to go around the restaurant because he is young and exploring his feet and legs and loves to run. And mommy has another younger baby. Monitored screen time would be a good way to keep him in his seat before the food is served. 

There are different reasons for why we rely on screens for our children. Whatever your reason is, what’s important is you recognise how necessary or unnecessary it is for the moment, and see how it affects your child. 

Teaching a child to be resilient and hard working will not come from watching screens all day; that I am sure of. I trust that as a parent, we want this for our kids, so I also trust that you will know how to discern and balance screen time based on what is best for your family.